I’ve been working over the Christmas holiday stretch (Friday thru tonight) and before you put an ounce of sympathy or empathy on, that’s what is making me uncomfortable. I don’t want to minimize anyone who came into my place of work and gave a gift or their love BUT God chose to place me here and give me a heart for this line of work during this season of my life. The truth of the matter is I celebrate Jesus everyday. Christmas is no different in my heart. I can love Him and celebrate Him no matter where I am! Sure, I miss my family, but again, I miss them every day and I treasure the time I get with them when God blesses me with it.
Every sentence that was a version of “I’m so sorry you have to be here on Christmas”, as kind as it was meant to be, hurt my heart. I am never sorry to be where God calls. Being in His will is what I want, all I want for my life! I want what He wants!
And I was never really alone. Although, at times, I was alone in the police department. I am constantly surrounded by the love of my coworkers and most importantly God’s love. Plus, I got a surprise visit from my best friend. More proof, God has blessed me, those -pathys would be such a waste!
However, it does lead me to another thought… I’m no stranger to loneliness. I’ve been single for almost 4 years. I’ve been living alone, or with a roommate for the past 3 years. I’ve lived over an hour or more away from my hometown for even longer. Silence, it makes loneliness even more real, even louder, and sometimes, very painful.
In this “lonely” time, down time, I can find myself mindlessly scrolling through social media. Over Christmas, I was excited to see pictures of family and friends together celebrating, in matching pjs, opening gifts, being silly, and just loving on each other! But in my scrolling, I started thinking about my friends, family, and strangers alike who would be hurting. The ones who aren’t quite there yet. The ones who would find everyone else’s joy painful, or who hide behind false smiles. Picture after picture of announcements. Engagements. Pregnancies. Love. Love. Love. God’s grace, His goodness from here to there. But still, I couldn’t get past the tugging in my heart, there are His children who STILL feel lost, hurt, lonely and helpless even in the middle of this holiday. There they are, STILL WAITING for their promises to be fulfilled. Wondering why God has “forgotten” them. Like a child who feels like Santa got lost on the way to their house Christmas Eve. The waiting gets tiresome. The waiting gets hurtful. The waiting gets old!
Everytime that you feel alone… He is STILL there.
Everytime that you feel let down… He is STILL there.
Everytime that you feel hurt… He is STILL there.
Everytime that you feel lost… He is STILL there.
Everytime that you feel forsaken… He is STILL there.
Everytime that you feel confused… He is STILL there.
So maybe none of us are like Thomas, and actually got to touch the holes left by the nails, but we still believe. We see the evidence of Him in our lives every single day. So we keep on keeping on. Moving forward into the future and the life He has promised, on this side AND ultimately what we all really want the life with Him in the great beyond!
If you are still in that waiting period, I really want to encourage you. I’m still there too! Waiting for the love of my life, waiting for my dream job, waiting for my answer. Does that sound all too familiar? It took me a long time to understand that God’s goodness, His grace, His will, and His love will always SUSTAIN me. Wanting what He wants for my life will be what truly fulfills my destiny on this side of the blue. If I do not live in His will, something will always be missing.
Open your heart, let Him in. Let Him fill your loneliness. Let Him fill your voids. Let Him heal your hurts. Let Him love you. I promise it will be worth it.
My dig in deeper for the bible, Isaiah! Don’t you have like 15 favorite scriptures from Isaiah?!?! It’s right there in the chapter titles… 40 – Comfort for God’s People, 41 – God’s Help for Israel
Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding.